It's been a long time since I've written. I've been going through some major personal things. Moving around a lot, being super stressed out. But things are okay now.
I'm in school now, for film acting. It's fabulous. I don't think I've ever enjoyed school more. I get to learn all about the film industry, I get to learn how to act (duh), and I get voice training. It's been fun so far. Stressful, but I don't mind this kind of stress. It keeps me on my toes. Keeps me busy. I'm constantly surrounded by stories as well... Constantly being told how to dissect stories... told how to access characters' wants and needs, intentions, etc... It's great for me as an actor, but as a writer as well. My imagination is working well.
I've met so many great people in my program thus far. It's nice being surrounded by such creative, intelligent folks. I feel at home in school. It's the real world that freaks me out. I guess that's a pretty normal thing though.
I never really thought I was going to be an actress. I acted in high school, in plays and in musicals, but I was too shy back then to really pursue it. Now, I feel I've gained the confidence to really go for it. I know I have the ability to be a success in the industry. I just have to push myself. But I love it so much, that it doesn't feel like work.
I've been so busy with school that I hardly have time to write. But I have been working on my novel, and I like the way things are coming together. I'm really excited right now, because I'm working on the most crucial part of the novel, the "climax" or whathaveyou... It feels daunting sometimes, but I know I'll get through it. I love writing. I'm going to keep doing it. For me.
I'm pretty content right now. I didn't stay single like I said I was going to. I jumped into a relationship pretty quickly. And it ended. But we're still friends, like, *sigh* I guess we're supposed to be. I think the universe is trying to tell me something. I'm noticing recurring themes in my relationships... and I'm starting to put two and two together. I'm okay being alone right now. I hope this feeling lasts. This loneliness that feels good. Because, I know there IS someone out there for me. Of course there is. But I know that's not what my life should centre around. It's not my "one true mission in life" to find a lover... a soul mate. I know that's not what my life is about. I feel that there are certain things I need to do in this life, and I'm doing them.
I read a quote on a wall once:
It really affected me. I've incorporated my interpretation of what I think it means in the novel I'm working on.
Anyway, that's all.
<3 Christina Martine.
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